A Kiss

Trudy helped find books for the tiny kids to whom she had just finished reading. She might have  read more of the many adventures of the not-yet-famous Tiffle the Troll, her own creation, but she had to get home to get ready. Mark was coming.

She giggled as she recalled how he came by at noon.  She had her back to the door and hadn’t heard him come in. Her eyes were glued to a story on this fascinating new website she stumbled across called Helium. She considered posting her Tiffle the Troll stories there when Mark rapped sharply on the counter saying in a loud, brusque voice “Is this the place where they keep these ancient things called books?”

She turned and laughed. Mrs. Tannenbaum, the head librarian and ruler of all things literary, automatically put forefinger to pursed lips and shushed them disapprovingly. Trudy swiftly grabbed his arm pulling him away before he got whacked in the head with the encyclopedia Britannica like some people got for disturbing Mrs. Tannenbaum’s peace.

“You goofy guy. You’re going to get me fired,” she said smiling up at him. He was so incredibly handsome. He made her toes tingle when he smiled and he always smiled. He was so very different from Charlie but then they would be. Mark was a doctor and Charlie had owned a marina. Mark was always joking around and talked freely. Charlie was a brooder and rarely said anything funny or otherwise. But then Trudy never needed for him to talk to get his message across. They could almost read each other’s mind. Countless people had unwisely assumed they were giving each other the silent treatment, but it just had been their way.

 She left the library decidedly happier than she had been in a long time. She knew it was all due to Mark. She had yet to figure how best to thank Cindy for forcing her to go out with her cousin, Mark. According to her, he had been similarly reticent about dating after the death of his darling Patty.

It was nice to speak with someone who knew what it was like to lose their soul mate. None of her other friends did. They had their husbands alive and well and those that were divorced actually wished death on the exes. Mark had been the only one who understood. They were good friends now and yet....She had been having much more than friendly dreams about him. But he didn’t want that. At least she didn’t think so. He had been a perfect gentleman these past three months. Surely if he had wanted more he would have said something. He talked about everything else with remarkable candor.

Perhaps he kept his distance because of what she said even before their first date started. Her cheeks still suffused with color when she thought of how she vehemently told him in no uncertain terms she was not going to jump into bed with him. She almost regretted it, almost. She wasn’t delusional after all. She was well passed her prime years, definitely on the down side of peak, though she still looked relatively good. Many said she looked ten years younger than her actual age but she just assumed they were either blind or extra nice.

Mark was one of those. Blind or extra nice, she couldn’t tell which. But she did often catch him just gazing at her as if she was a fascinating painting. And when she smiled a strange light came into his ever-changing eyes. Cindy had said they were hazel but that wasn’t quite right. In a certain light they were green flecked, in another golden brown and sometimes streaked with silver or amber. They were fascinating to watch and she was certain he thought her a bit daft for it. He usually passed his hand in front of her eyes when she couldn’t stop staring into them.

They were going to The French Manor again, the restaurant they went on their first date. It seemed to be their place now. Charlie had never taken her to such a place. He was more the jeans and t-shirt, casual dining kind of guy.

Trudy stood before her closet in bra and panties wondering what to wear. She had always dressed conservatively but tonight she wanted to break out and start showing some interest in romance.  Dressing provocatively might do it. She could almost hear Cindy now.

“So, taking the “Desperate Housewife” route, are you? About time,” she’d say with her usual sparkling laughter.

She donned a daring little dress bare in the back but her bra  showed. Okay, no bra. Can’t get much more “Desperate Housewife” daring than that. God help her if he ran for the hills because she jiggled too much. Not likely. Men liked jiggle. Charlie had.

Mark arrived promptly as always, his eyes a smokey greyish green, his expression unreadable when  his eyes swept over her. “You look wonderful. You make me feel like that Troll you were telling me about.” he said casually. Then he smiled and her heart skipped a beat. She felt warm all over at his praise.   

She giggled shyly and grabbed her shawl. He took it from her and gently draped it over her shoulders ever-so-lightly touching her bare arms. His breath caressing her neck sent rippled waves through her. Every nerve ending seemed on high alert.

They talked amicably all through dinner. She had been hopelessly gazing into his eyes, now flecked with green and gold from the candle light, when he hesitantly asked her  to dance. She stupidly blinked several times and pondered the question. She loved dancing and would certainly enjoy being in his arms swaying softly to the romantic music, but did she dare? She didn’t know if she could refrain from acting the trollop.

He held out his hand in invitation. But did that invitation include what she was thinking? How would those smooth hands feel against her skin, running all over her curves and stalling at strategic  locations? Would he ever want to? Not likely. She saw his wedding band glimmering as if to mock her. How could she possibly compare to his Patty? She had been everyone’s dream girl, a perfect combination of Ginger, with her fiery, curly, red hair and tall glamorous figure and Marianne with her adorable, funny, bubbly personality. Mark had loved her completely as she had loved her Charlie. No, he would never think of her like that. More’s the pity.

“Trudy? Did you hear me?” he asked, quietly intruding into her morose thoughts. She snatched her gaze away from those mesmerizing hands and looked up. She didn’t even try to hide her longing. She was in love with him. It only just hit her. She smiled and placed her hand in his, silently telling him he could have all of her if he cared.

She suddenly realized her lungs needed sustenance. She forgot to breath. She drew in a shaky breath and slowly answered,  “Yes, I’d like to dance.”

She brazenly stepped into his arms and wished he’d pull her in closer. She wanted to feel him especially without clothing. She should have been ashamed of where her thoughts were going but she wasn’t. She moved closer until very sensitive parts of her touched him. A flame ignited within her but she hardly cared to temper it.

Feeling secure in his arms she mumbled, “I like this song.”    

He pulled her a bit closer and joy leapt inside her. She felt his warm hand on her back and felt halfway to ecstacy. She also felt his heart beating quick and hard. This frightened her. All she could think of was Charlie gasping for air as the heart attack took him from her.

“Please, not again!” her thoughts screamed.

She pulled back and looked up at him. He looked dazed and...something else. She couldn’t tell what.  “Mark?” she said fearfully.

“I love you, Trudy,” he muttered wildly. “I’m sorry if it’s too soon or if I’m scaring you but...God help me. I love you. I dream about you all the time. I want you near me, with me always, forever. Please don’t hate me. I’m too old to play games and life’s too short not to take a chance.”

Was she hearing right? He loved her? Elation swept over her. Her eyes misted. She had to tell him all she felt for him. But her voice wouldn’t work. She simply had to kiss him. That would say it all, wouldn’t it? And what if he thought her wanton? She truly didn’t care. She reached up caressing his cheek then kissed him, a fleeting, barely-there meeting of lips yet conveying all her love. But would he understand?

 “Trudy,” he whispered then took her hard against his chest tangling his fingers feverishly in her hair and kissing her soundly. Passion flared unbidden between them and they were lost, lost in a kiss.