Don't get any funny ideas!

©2016 Glory Lennon All Rights Reserved

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Still the Favorite

“Hello,” Tim said into the phone. 

He heard a hoarse whisper say, “Timmy…Timmy...” and the phone went click.

A shiver ran up his spine and after a minute he slowly put the phone back on the wall. 

“Tim, who was it?” Lori asked, as she folded laundry.

“Uh…it was really weird. For a minute I thought…well, it sounded just like my grandmother,” he said, laughing, albeit nervously.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Girly Camping

“What you need is a vacation. You should take the boys and do something fun,” Rene said brightly.

“Like they’ll want to go anywhere with me,” Dylan whined.  “They think the divorce is my fault. They think I left them. I did leave them. I suck!”

Rene rolled her eyes. “Jill kicked you out. It’s about time you told them that. They are old enough to accept the truth,” she snapped.

“Still, where could I take them?” he asked, dejected.

“Well, there’s only fifty states in the union for you to pick from. I’m sure you can think of something, you goof,” she said irritably.

“Where are the girls?” he asked only just noticing they weren’t home.

“They went shopping with Jim’s latest chippy. She’s gonna be a super-model ,” she sang in a cutesy voice then laughed.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Sins of the parents

Calisto stood in her fluffy slippers and new dressing gown of palest blue satin looking through the glass at the tiny being she had only recently and rather reluctantly given birth to. She had been forced to stay in bed for a week in the hope the baby would remain contentedly within his first home, her womb. Unfortunately, he didn’t. Damn, that house fire!

She knew she had been doing too much after the fire, cleaning up and sorting out what could be salvaged. Moving in--hopefully very temporarily with the in-laws—was stress enough, but she also had to tend and calm the other kids who didn’t like being uprooted so violently from their comfortable home. And then there was the fruitless search for a new home, one which they could afford to rent so she wouldn’t have to see the snide expression of her mother-in-law’s hateful face.

She never failed to say how much better off her precious Bobby would be if he hadn’t gotten tricked into marrying her. Calisto was almost certain it was staying with her mother-in-law that prompted the early contractions more than all the other things combined.  Either way, she had not taken care of herself and her baby now was paying for it.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Inheriting Insanity

“You know, if he hadn’t died, he’d still be alive today,” Wally said in philosophical tones.

Troy glanced at Jasmine and quickly looked away. She was also trying desperately not to burst out laughing. He cleared his throat, straightened his face, nodded gravely and said, “I know what you mean, Grandpa Wally. Anyway, thanks for coming to my party. Jasmine wanted to meet all my relatives.”  

He smiled bracingly. Why she wanted to meet all these nut jobs was beyond him. If she still liked him after tonight he’d know for certain she was meant for him. Please, God, let her still like him after tonight!

“You’re a sweet young thing, Janet. Troy’s very lucky to have you,” Wally said, looking her over, top to bottom and pausing significantly at the bust line.

“Jasmine, Grandpa Wally. My girlfriend’s name is Jasmine. Her twin is Janet,” Troy told him with a possessive arm around her.

“Twins, huh? I never had twins myself. Would be nice. Knew a man once who did. He told me...”

Saturday, March 3, 2012

‘fore she was mama

Who knew you could learn so much about your mother while playing hide-n-seek?

Clay found the shoebox in his mama’s closet while hiding. His brothers found him nonplussed staring at hundreds of photos.

“What’s that?” Jay asked. “Whoa!”

“It’s Mama… ‘fore she was Mama,” Clay said, aghast seeing his mother straddling a Harley with a cigarette dangling from her bright red lips and flipping the bird to the camera.

“That’s not Mama,” Ray said holding a picture of a girl in a string bikini in Tijuana. “Mama don’t got no Belly-button ring.”