Don't get any funny ideas!

©2016 Glory Lennon All Rights Reserved

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Girly Camping

“What you need is a vacation. You should take the boys and do something fun,” Rene said brightly.

“Like they’ll want to go anywhere with me,” Dylan whined.  “They think the divorce is my fault. They think I left them. I did leave them. I suck!”

Rene rolled her eyes. “Jill kicked you out. It’s about time you told them that. They are old enough to accept the truth,” she snapped.

“Still, where could I take them?” he asked, dejected.

“Well, there’s only fifty states in the union for you to pick from. I’m sure you can think of something, you goof,” she said irritably.

“Where are the girls?” he asked only just noticing they weren’t home.

“They went shopping with Jim’s latest chippy. She’s gonna be a super-model ,” she sang in a cutesy voice then laughed.

He laughed too. “So, she’s got no meat on her bones? What does Jim see in that?” he said, shaking his head in wonder. He stared at Rene’s curvy bottom as she reached up to place dishes on the top shelf.

Rene smiled appreciatively. “You really know how to make me feel good, Dylan. Want to stay for dinner? You know it won’t be no rabbit food with me cooking. I've got juicy steaks.”

He smiled. It was exactly what he had hoped for. “If you don’t have any other plans.”

“Course I don’t. It’s just me, myself and I tonight, plus you. The four of us should come up with something fun to do. You can help me find my tent and camping stuff and get it all together for next weekend. Not exactly fun but, you know, what the heck!”

“Where are you going?” he asked in a panic. How could he survive without her around to bring him down off the ledge?

“I’ve never been to the Berkshires so I thought I’d take the girls up there for a blissful week of camping. No Jim, no chippy, no computers, no numbers and no whiney people asking annoying things about their taxes. I’m not even bringing make-up. That way I’ll scare away any bears,” she said gleefully.

He laughed again. “Is that what you think will scare away bears? You need lessons in camping, kid.”

“Oh, really? I’ll have you know I’m a camping afficionado. I ain’t no novice. I was a senior girl scout,” she stated proudly.

“Well, I was an eagle scout. I can run rings around your tent,” he retorted.

“Oh, doth mine ears hear a challenge?” she countered, a sly smirk on her face.

“What do you mean? You want me to run around your tent?” he asked baffled.

She laughed. “You goof. That was my way of inviting you to come with us. We’ll see if you can show us frail, little girls something about manly camping.”

“I don’t want to intrude…on your girls’ trip,” he said wistfully. He couldn’t think of anything he would like better, though.

“Chicken. Bet you weren’t even a cub scout,” she taunted.

“All right, I’ll come. When we leaving?” he said.

“Saturday, bright and early. You should bring the boys. My girls can teach them how to fly-fish.”

He snorted with laughter. “Your girls fly-fish? Little Penny and Kimberly? What have you been smoking?”

She smiled. “My daddy is a fly-fishing champ and he taught me and I, in turn, taught my girls. They love it as do I. Want me teach you?”

“I know how to fish!” he shouted, indignant.

“Fishing off the side of your boat is way different than fly-fishing. I’m a very good teacher. It’s mastering that particular flick of the wrist that’s tricky, but I’ll be patient with you. You’ll see. Grab the steaks. I’ll teach you how to grill, too. We rough it when we go camping. We only eat what we catch.”

“Are you serious?” he asked, incredulous.

“Totally. Trout for breakfast, quail for lunch. Get the picture? Still want to come?” she asked smirking.

“Oh, yeah. This I gotta see!”


“Dad! Wake up, Dad! They’re gone,” Chad shouted.

“What? What time is it?” Dylan said, still half asleep.

“It’s about six but you gotta get up. The girls are gone,” Ashton said . “They could be hurt or something."

"You think a bear could’ve dragged them away without us waking up?” Chad asked, sounding frightened.

“What the...what are you talking about?” Dylan said.

“The girls, Dad. Miss Rene and the girls are gone. They’re not in their tent,” Ashton explained.

“Rene? Are you sure?” Dylan jumped up and hit his head against the pole holding up his tent. He stifled a curse and dragged himself out of the sleeping bag grabbing his boots as he went. He pulled them on and looked around. The tents looked neat and orderly. No bear could’ve taken them without leaving some mark. But how about a more dangerous animal, like man?

“Did you boys hear anything? See anything? Have you checked around?” Dylan asked, trying to stay calm even though he felt close to panic.

“Well, they made coffee. The fire’s blazing again. You put it out last night, didn’t you, Dad?" Ashton asked.

“Of course, I did. Maybe they went for a walk?” he said, totally unconvinced.

“In the dark?” Chad asked making a weird face. “The sun’s hardly out yet.”

“Hey, look! Their fishing stuff’s gone. They went fishing. They must be by the lake. Let’s go see,” Ashton said. He took off with the other two following.

Fifteen minutes of mostly running through the woods got them down to within sight of the clear, sparkling lake. The sun was now peaking over the evergreen mountains. The crystalline water reflected the sky in swirling sherbet colors.

“I hear them,” Ashton said pausing in mid-stride.

“Holy crap! They’re swimming. Are they nuts?” Chad said, astounded.

“Oh, yeah, they’re nuts,” Dylan said as he caught a glimpse of the three girls splashing around and having the time of their lives.

“Can we go in, Dad?” Chad asked already sitting down and pulling off his hiking boots.

“Depends if they’re....they wouldn’t,” Dylan muttered.

“What?” Ashton asked.

“You boys stay here,” he said cautiously.

“Why? We wanna go in, too,” Chad whined.

“Just wait, until I call you,” Dylan said sternly. He walked down the path peeking through the bushes. There was Rene with his back to him waist deep in water and looking thoroughly nude. He stared transfixed silently wishing she would turn towards him. Then a shriek was heard and he nearly jumped out of his skin and practically tumbled out of the bush.

“Mr. Crenshaw? Is that you?” Kimberly shouted from the water. Rene turned and smiled. She did have a bathing suit on. It didn’t look like it from the back. Dylan felt both disappointment and shame; disappointment that she was indeed dressed and shame that he wished she hadn’t been.

“Sorry if I scared you girls. We thought maybe you were skinny-dipping. Didn’t want to bother you,” he said sheepishly.

Rene laughed. “But spying on us was okay? I’ll have to remember that.”

“Can we go in now, Dad?” Chad asked, already down to his boxers.

“If it’s okay with the ladies,” he answered.

The boys ran around the bushes and jumped into the lake. They let out whoops of shock.

“It’s freezing!” Ashton shouted.

“You girls are crazy!” Chad said through chattering teeth.

“It’s not that bad.” Penny said dismissively. “What are you, a wimp?”

“Ain’t no wimp!” Chad said, indignant. He splashed her full in the face and a mad splashing contest ensued, girls against the boys. Rene walked slowly out of the water and went up to Dylan dripping in front of him like a goddess.

“You just going to stand there? You should come in. The water’s great,” she said, her smile brighter than the sun.

“Somehow I don’t believe you,” he said as he pointed at her arms. “Goose pimples don’t lie.”

“It’s just cuz of the breeze,” she replied.

“You scared us, you know,” Dylan said, his tone suddenly angry. “The boys thought a bear came and took you and the girls away. I was thinking more along the line of a human animal. What are you doing sneaking out like that?”

She cocked her head to the side watching him, the smile never leaving her face. “You big, strong men all worried about us weak little girls? How sweet,” she said giggling. “But you see, someone had to get breakfast and you boys were out cold.”

He frowned. “You got breakfast?” he asked, incredulous.

She took him by the hand and went to a bucket sitting by the water. “More than enough for all of us. But in case you and the boys don’t like trout this early in the morning, I brought cereal bars. Don’t want my protectors starving.”

He stared at her aghast. “You caught these while we were sleeping?”

She shrugged. “There's a beautiful stream just around yonder full of lovely trout. Besides, I can’t sleep when I’m out in the woods,” she said.

He smirked. “Miss your cushy bed and blankets, sissy girl?”

She laughed. “No, I love being out here. So much to do, so much to see. Fresh air invigorates me,” she shouted with glee. She threw her head back laughing at the newly risen sun and spread her arms out as if to encompass the whole outdoors.

Damn, but she looked good when she did that. He wanted to take her deep into the woods and do nasty things with her. He gulped. He wasn’t supposed to think of that now. The kids were here and they were only friends. But man, he never thought girly camping could be this good.

He attempted to clear his head of these lascivious thoughts—failing miserably--and muttered, “Yeah, invigorating... that’s the word for it.”

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful story, Glory--this is exactly why we like camping better...You write SO well! ":)


Your thoughts?