When God Speaks

He sat bolt upright in bed panting as if just having finished a marathon. Terrified, he looked around the dark, silent room but all seemed fine, all seemed well. Rebecca lay sleeping beside him her dark curls fanned out upon her pillow. She slowly roused at his sudden movement.

“Noah, what’s wrong? Bad dream?” she whispered drowsily.

“Yeah...that...that’s it. I’m sorry I woke you,” he replied, bending down and tenderly kissing her cheek. She smiled and drifted off to sleep. Tears sprung to his eyes as he watched her. He loved her so desperately and yet that dream took her away from him. But it was just a dream, thank God!

Just then the baby could be heard over the monitor, not a howling wail as would signify “Feed me!” but a fussy little whimper saying “comfort me”. He could tell the difference though in Rebecca’s half sleepy state she couldn’t and consequently she threw the blanket aside ready to tend to their first born daughter. He stopped her and replaced the covers on top of her.

“You stay, Rebecca. You’re so tired. I’m sure Mia just wants me to sing to her,” he said kissing her again and pushing her hair out of her face.

“Have I told you lately you’re the best daddy ever?”she said gratefully.

“It has been a few minutes but I’ll forgive you this time. Be back soon,” he joked.

He got up, turned off the monitor and went to the nursery. “Hey you, what’s all the fuss about?” he said quietly as he picked up the tiny pink clad bundle and cradled her in his arms instantly stopping the whimpers. She stared up at him gurgling adorably.

“Just as I suspected,” he said smiling down at her, “You got your day and night mixed up, don’t you, Mia? That’s okay. I want to spend time with you and I don’t get much chance with all those millionaires on my case to build them a yacht bigger and fancier than the next. But I don’t suppose you care about that, do you? You just want your diaper changed and a little song, I think. Let’s get to it then.”

He sang one of her favorite songs,  Paul McCartney’s “Band on the run”, all the while wondering why, of all the songs in the world, she liked that silly one so much. Once in a fresh diaper and snuggled against his chest he walked the room with her still humming.

“...and the first one said to the second one there, I  hope you’re having fun....”

“Your Rebecca’s right. You are the greatest daddy ever.”

He spun around so fast he made the baby giggle. “Who...who said that?” he said harshly as he glared around the room. It was a deep male voice, sounding amused and slightly whimsical but definitely not one he’d ever heard before. Or had he?

 He tentatively looked out in the hall. No one there. But he had heard it and he was almost certain he was fully awake. Heart beating frantically again just as when he awoke from that horrific dream, he sat down on the rocking chair hoping the steady movement would not only lull Mia to sleep but also calm his frazzled nerves. It wouldn’t have bothered him so much, the dream nor the voice, had he not been having the same nightmare every single night for over a month narrated, no less, by that very same booming voice.  He sounded like Darth Vader, deep and menacing though with a wicked sense of humor.

What really worried him, besides the fact he might be going bonkers,  was it was getting worse. The dreams were getting more vivid, more real, more terrible and more complex and the voice, more insistent. He never had had such detailed dreams. He noticed everything, colors, sounds, smells, as if he had to memorize it but for what possible reason? An exam? No, not that. This was more like it already happened and he was remembering. But he never went through any such thing, he was certain. Was he cracking up? Was it a hereditary thing? His mother, after all spent some time at Fulkner Mental Institution and she's still insisting the end of the world was coming.

“But she’s right, Noah,” the voice spoke again from out of the dark, from in his head, from God knows where, “She’s right and not the nut everyone thinks her. I had hoped you would believe her. But since you don’t, I had to come directly to you. I need your help, Noah.”

“Oh, Lordy, I’m losing it,” Noah mumbled, anxiously clinging to his precious child as if she could prevent it from coming to be. “Oh, God, please no. Don’t make me go nuts. What would happen to my family? My Rebecca, my Mia. Please no!”

“Take a breather, kid. You’re not going nuts,” the loud, clear voice said calmly.

“Easy for you to say. You’re just in my head and of course you’d tell me I wasn’t nuts. All insane people believe they’re perfectly all right. Oh, dear God!” he said despairingly.

“Nice of you to call me dear but don’t expect me to call you darling or anything,” the voice boomed sounding amused.

Noah ignored this or at least tried to. “Mia, let’s go to sleep, okay? We’re both very tired. I’m hearing things, I’m so tired. All I need is some dreamless sleep. Some warm milk, that’s what I need.”

“She’s not sleepy yet, Noah. I’ve been singing to her too. She’s a real cutie,” the voice said conversationally, “She’s funny liking Paul McCartney so much. She likes Yesterday too, only I changed the lyrics to Scrambled eggs as I had intended. John had to stick his nose in and change them. He never did believe in me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Noah said slightly confused. “Oh, Lordy, I’m talking to myself.”

“No, I’m right here listening to you. And I really like that.”

“What?” Noah asked.

“Lordy. I want you to call me Lordy. Best name yet, I think. God is plain, Jehovah is gay, Buddha makes me sound fat, Mohammad reminds people of terrorists and Jesus has been usurped by every other Hispanic baseball player. None of them are special. But Lordy, that’s special. I like it.”

“Good to know,” Noah said unenthusiastically.

“So, aren’t you going to ask me why I’m bothering you?” the voice asked pleasantly.

“I try not to talk to people I can’t see,” Noah said, completely disregarding he had just done so.

A booming laugh sounded around the room filling his whole being with an undefinable joy. Had he just taken a happy pill? Mia gurgled cheerfully and grabbed her daddy’s nose. His heart melted. He rubbed his nose with hers. “My sweet baby. Don’t hate me too much when the men in white coats come and take me away. I wanted to stay and take care of you.”

“No one’s taking you away. You will  stay with your little girl. But you need to do something to ensure that. Are you ready to listen to me, Noah? You haven’t gotten the clues I’ve sent you through your dreams.”

“Clues for what? You call horrific dreams about endless fires clues?”

“I know you remember your Sunday school lessons, Noah, so don’t act dumb. The first time was by water and the next will be....come on....you already know the answer. You just said it.”

Noah stood up abruptly and turned around looking for someone or some way he could be hearing this voice. Maybe it was one of his joker older brothers. Simon loved pulling pranks on him. Maybe it was an electronic device. Peter was good with rigging electronic stuff.

“Noah, it’s nothing to do with Simon, Peter nor any of your other brothers or sisters,” the voice said exasperated,  “And yes, I can hear your thoughts as if you spoke aloud. It’s the one good thing about being a deity, besides being able to do whatever I like.”

“Like making the world blow up? Nice game!” Noah shouted. “Leave me alone. Get out of my head!”

“I’m not in your head. I’m in your soul,” the voice said. “You are a good man, Noah. That’s why I chose you.”

“No, you’re a hallucination,” he replied, frantically walking about the room still clinging to the baby.

“Technically a hallucination would be seeing, things but if that’s what you want I can appear to you. Your mother didn’t need it but some people need to see to believe, poor souls,” he said sadly.

Before Noah knew what happened a tall man appeared out of thin air, white haired and long bearded wearing flowing robes of silvery silk. He glowed from within and exuded a warmth and power that simultaneously drew you in and held you back. 

“Oh, Lordy,” Noah mumbled, gaping at the apparition.

“That’s me,” the tall man said cheerfully. “The one and only God, at least the only one you have to worry about.”

Noah stared at him wishing and hoping he would disappear again, but the man looked as solid as the baby he held in his hands. “Anyone ever tell you, you look like that Lord of the Rings dude?”

God made a face and said, “Hmm, I was going for Dumbledore. Oh, well.”  He shrugged carelessly and took the baby out of Noah’s hands. “Hello, Mia, my sweet. Time for you to sleep so your daddy and I can have an important little talk.”  He then kissed the child who gurgled delightedly, grabbed his long nose then blinked once and fell fast asleep.

“Damn, you’re good. You babysit?” Noah joked. If he was going nuts he might as well enjoy himself until they threw him into the loony bin.

“You’re not going into the loony bin, Noah,” God said as he gently laid the child back into her crib and pulled the blanket over her. He smoothed down her riotous black curls so much like her mother’s and straighten up to face his newest messenger. He gave him an appraising look and said, “We’re running out of time. It’s happening far quicker than even I thought it would.”

“What? Me going insane? I’d have to agree,” Noah replied.

God grinned. “Let’s go sit down in your comfy family room and discuss this.”

“What? Aren’t you gonna take me to the Grand Canyon or the moon to prove to me I’m not hallucinating?”

“Do you want to go to the Grand Canyon or the moon?” God asked curiously as he led the way down the hall, down the stairs and into the easy chair which strangely looked like a throne when he sat in it.

“What the hell! Let’s say yes. Oh, sorry, shouldn’t say hell in front of you,” Noah said apologetically.

“No problem. I’m not so sensitive as that.  I know it exists.”

“You would, I suppose. Oh, God, I’m insane!” Noah said throwing himself onto the sofa.

“Oh, stop it already! You recall what your mother told you.”

“She named me Noah because I was gonna save the world,” he listlessly said with his arms thrown over his face as if to hide himself.

“Half right. I told her you would be the leader of the new world after it was destroyed by fire. Her idea to call you Noah.”

“I’m no leader,” he said sitting up and glaring at God, “Can’t I even go nuts the right way? What is wrong with me?”

God chuckled. “I like you, kid. Don’t you know that it takes someone who’s reluctant to lead to lead properly? It’s the ones who dream and scheme and plot to get power who should never have it. Power corrupts you know.”

“Then aren’t you afraid it will corrupt me?” he asked.

“No, you are pure of heart. I find them occasionally. It’s such a treat when I do,” he said wistfully.

Noah frowned. The hallucination just wasn’t going away. He gulped and said, “What do you want from me?”

“Glad you asked. You have to do pretty much what the first Noah did,” God answered.

“Build an arc for two of each animal? Well, that’s almost too obvious,” he replied gruffly.

“No need to build one.  You’ve got that really spectacular yacht you’ve just finished for that shah of whatever. You can use that one. He won’t be needing it. He, his twenty wives and ninety-two kids aren’t gonna make it. Their oil field will be the first things to go Ka-boom!”

Noah stared at him eyes wide in fear, but said nothing. Insanity could be entertaining with the right attitude. He just wished he had that right attitude.

“That’s not all though,” God continued. “You need to get your brothers and sister and their spouses to join you. Among all of you there will be all the necessary people to rebuild the world.”

“How do you figure that?” Noah asked.

“They represent almost all the sundry peoples of the world. Peter’s Chinese, Simon’s South African, John’s Italian, Paul’s Swedish and so on. You’ll be a floating United nations only without the obnoxious relations with diplomatic immunity causing trouble. Why do you think your mother adopted all those very different kids?”

“I just thought it was because she was an equal opportunity mother and she couldn’t have her own baby until I surprised her. I was a mistake or accident or something,” Noah said carelessly.

“No child is ever an accident. You know better than that!” God said sternly. “Every child is worthy, valuable and here for a purpose. It’s that blasted Satan that gets in the way of that.”

Noah could feel a burning heat coming from God just then. It scorched his skin, singed the hair on his arms. He decided it was best to keep God from getting angry even if it was a figment of his imagination.

“I guess it’s good they all married people from different background too,” Noah stated nervously.

“That wasn’t by accident. I chose wives and husbands for them which would be able to contribute to the new world. Kerry is a fine nurse, Linda is a brilliant apothecary, Francine’s a great mechanical engineer, Charlie's a slendid carpenter and so on,” he said confidently.

“You chose? What happened to free will?”

“You still have that, but I always make them in pairs. Soul mates, you know? It’s entirely up to you guys to find each other. I gave your brothers a bit of help. They weren’t as good as you in finding their soul mate so I kinda nudged them in the right direction. You are happy with Rebecca, aren’t you?”

Noah’s eyes clouded for a moment. “Those dreams....they show her dying. Please don’t let that happen. I love her so much. I’ll do anything.”

God’s face fell.  “I’m sorry, Noah. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“But you’re God!”

“But there still is Satan doing his thing and I have no control over him and his cancerous minions.”

“But there’s got to be something I can do to save her,” Noah said desperately.

“You have to go about the plan I set up for you and it will take care of itself,” God said stiffly as he pulled a thick, gleaming gold-covered book from within the folds of his robe. He handed it to Noah who took it numbly.

“But I can’t live without Rebecca. Mia needs her mother,” he said, his eyes filling with burning hot tears.

“Now, don’t fret. I should have explained. Those dreams encompass twenty years. You have that long until she dies,” he said gently.

“That’s not long enough. There’s got to be something I can do,” he pleaded.

“It’s all in the book, Noah. One of your brothers, I won’t say who, will also die within that time and you will take his wife as your new wife. Now don’t look like that. You will find in due time that you will both fall in love with each other after an appropriate mourning. It will come naturally. It’s all in the plan. I made it that way.”

Angry now, Noah stood up and threw the book away from him. “So, why don’t I just kill my brothers and take all their wives? Man, what the hell kind of insanity is this? Screw you! You’re just in my delusional brain,” he shouted then instantly calming down added, “I need to see a doctor. John may know someone good, someone with prozac.”

God raised his hand and the book, laying opened on the tile floor of the foyer, drifted slowly back to them and set itself down on the coffee table.

“You don’t need prozac. Read the book at your leisure, Noah, but only after you get your brothers on board, literally and figuratively. There is a list of items on the first page to help you convince each one to join you. Something only they know about and you telling them will convince them you are indeed talking to me, Lordy,” he said grinning.

“And what if I don’t do this?” Noah said defiantly.

God looked at him with a sad expression. “Then all my work is done, finito, gone forever. That includes little Mia and all your nieces and nephews. I’d hate to see that happen. Mia will take over for you once you no longer can lead. She will be a beautiful, intelligent, happy woman, married to a lovely man who treats her as you treat Rebecca, with undying love. Would you deprive her of that?”God asked softly.

Noah gulped. “This is insane. This isn’t real. This....this...”

The television suddenly came to life with horrific visions from his own dreams. Noah gasped and looked at God.

“It’s already started,” God said gently, “ By fire, this time. You need to get on the yacht, Noah, collect the animals and set off before the fires come here. You have about a month by my calculations. You will get going then? I’ll help whenever you ask me. I am Lordy at your service.”  And with that God was gone in a blink of the eye. Noah stared at the spot where he had been until his eyes burned in their sockets.

“Noah, what are you doing still up so late? You okay?” Rebecca said coming in and sitting down beside him. She smiled and said, “I just had the strangest dream. We were all sailing on a beautiful yacht. You know which one? The one you made for the shah. And all your brother’s and sisters and all of us were on board. Even your mother and father were with us. It was like the biggest, best family reunion and we all had such a great time. Wouldn’t it be fun to do that?”

He hugged her tightly. “God, help me,” he mumbled.

“I just did,” God said, sounding exasperated, “And I told you to call me Lordy, okay, Kid?”

“Noah,” she said, looking scared. “Did you just hear that? Like a friendly Darth Vader. Please tell me you heard it or I might be going insane.”

He laughed. “Baby, insanity might not be so bad if you have God on your side,” Noah said bewildered and dazed. “Let’s go to bed. We’ve got a lot of work to do, packing, convincing my brothers and sisters to take a long trip with us, collecting two of each animal....”