Surprises

They had only been married three months, three wonderful months and now she found herself pregnant. She hadn’t thought it possible not after all the trouble she had getting pregnant and carrying a child to term when she had been married to Charlie. Six miscarriages and then little Taylor, the only baby that had made it almost to full term. He had been born sickly and died barely two years later. She still could see the devastation on Charlie’s face. He took Taylor’s death worse than she did or perhaps she was merely better at hiding it. She suspected Taylor’s death contributed to Charlie’s own early demise. His faulty heart was surely weakened by grief.

But what now? Here she was with an unplanned pregnancy. She and Mark had never discussed the possibility of  having a child. How would he feel about becoming a father? He and Patty never had children, but she never asked if that had been planned. What if he resolutely didn’t want the responsibility of a child? But she might not have to worry about that nor to worry him yet, she thought sagely. She would probably have another miscarriage and Mark need be none the wiser. She should spare him that. She would try not to show her disappointment of losing  yet another child.

She turned her head on her pillow and watched Mark sleep, steadily breathing, barely making a sound. How different he was from Charlie whose snores could have easily called to ships out at sea. And she had thought Charlie so handsome but Mark was exceptional and such a joy to be around. She had never laughed so much. Charlie had been the brooding type, far too serious. But then that came from all the disappointments of having no progeny to leave to this world. He had so wanted that as much if not more than Trudy.

Just then a surge of nausea attacked her stomach in a violent wave. She rushed to the bathroom and barely made it. Her swift movement, however, shook Mark awake in an instant. He heard her awful retching and grimaced.

“Trudy, you okay?” he asked starting to climb out of bed but she reemerged and sat solemnly at the end of the bed with her hand on her still queasy tummy. “Sweetheart, you said you were better yesterday. It can’t be food poisoning as you said. I should take you into work with me so you can see someone at the hospital,” he said anxiously. He peered into her face concern furrowing his brow. “Have any other symptoms?”

She smiled ruefully. How silly of her to think she could actually keep a pregnancy from a brilliant surgeon like Mark. “I don’t need to see anyone to know what this is,” she said quietly.

He raised his eyebrows. “Gain a medical degree in your sleep, have you?” he said smirking.

“Women have rarely needed a doctor to know,”  She took his hand in both of hers. “Mark, I’m sorry. We never talked about this, the possibility of it, but... I’m pregnant.”

The emotions that crossed his handsome features were many and varied.  Astonishment, wonder, disbelief and a fleeting look of happiness could all be detected but the predominant one was concern .

“Oh, my love, I’m sorry. I never thought...you said it was virtually impossible and... oh, what will this do to you?”he said with self-reproach.

“Don’t worry about me, Mark. I’m used to...”  She stopped and attempted a smile which collapsed upon the realization she wanted this baby beyond all the others. She was in her forties now. Surely, this  would be her last chance.

“Trudy, no one gets used to losing a child,” he said gently. “How far along are you?”

“Two months, maybe three,” she replied stoically.

“Three? Why haven’t you told me?” he shouted angrily.

“I figured I would spontaneously abort  like always happens and I didn’t want to worry you. I didn’t want you angry at me,” she said timidly.

“Well, I am. You should have told me right away, as soon as you suspected. You need to see a doctor right away so you don’t lose this one.”

“So, you’re not angry about the baby itself?” she asked apprehensively.

“About the baby? Why should I be?” he replied dumbfounded.

“Well, we never spoke of it. I thought you and Patty never wanted kids.”

“We  just never got around to it. Too busy with careers. We didn’t want to bring a child into a chaotic life like we were living. But I always thought we would eventually. But then she died so suddenly and...my last chance went with her. At least I thought it did,” he said smiling.

Tears welled in her eyes and her lips trembled. “But you’re not going to get a chance with me either, Mark. I’ve failed each time. Taylor was as close as I got and...” Tears spilled onto her cheeks

“Trudy, no, don’t cry,” he said taking her into his arms and holding her gently, “You won’t fail this time. I won’t let you. We need to get you in to see Gail Broderick. She’s the best in maternal medicine. She can help you.”  He suddenly looked at her frowning. “You do want this child, don’t you?”

Did he really have to ask?  “I’m afraid to hope, Mark. I don’t want to do to you what I did to Charlie. Each time killed him a little.”

“A little bit of hope never went to waste. Let’s get dressed and go see Gail. She’ll tell us and who knows? A few months from now we might be holding our own little cutie,” he said happily.

“But what if...”

He cut her off. “None of that. If the worst happens and we lose him or her...would you consider adoption?”

Her eyes widened. “Really?” she asked, incredulous. “You would want to?”

He smiled indulgently. “I think you’d make an awesome mother and I might not be so bad as a dad. What do you think?”

She smiled and put her arms around his neck kissing him. “I love you, Mark.”

“Not nearly as much as I love you. Let’s go see about our baby,” he said getting up and pulling her with him.