When Dreams Turn Real, ch1

Dani gingerly rolled over and groaned. The ever-present pain was merely a dull ache today. She should be grateful. For the past three months it had been far worse, a searing agony which brought tears to her eyes with every move. But now she was finally out of the hospital and in her own home, though now she had no one, not a nurse nor doctor not even a visitor. But still, she should be grateful. She would be grateful. After all, she was alive and Tony was not.

That was a hurt which she knew would never be removed from her soul. Her bones and flesh may have been brutally broken and bruised, and in time they may eventually be completely healed. Although with such injuries they likely would always pain her somewhat. The loss of her beloved brother, however, she would never get over.

“Oh, Tony, how I miss you,” she muttered sadly, a tear slipping slowly down her cheek to sink into her pillow. How she wished she’d never asked for a ride in his new car that night. If they had just stayed home maybe....

Oh, there was no use thinking of maybes. They only fussed with her already fragile state of mind. She didn’t need that.

Determined, she threw back the covers and decidedly ignoring her protesting muscles with its accompanying pain she stepped to the window and threw open the curtains.

“What a beautiful day,” she mumbled. Again, she should be grateful, grateful she made it out of that hospital bed in time for spring, her favorite time of year. She looked out at her garden and smiled. She could see a faint glow of green on the trees and poking out among the dry, brown, crumbled leaves and dead flower stalks. There were crocus, alliums and daffodils scattered about to bring her joy. She knew what she needed to do, what she wanted to do, regardless of the pain it undoubtedly would produce.

 “I’ll do some gardening. Weeding is as good an exercise as anything my Nazi physical therapist can come up with,” she spoke briskly. Tinker, a long-haired fluff ball of a cat entwined itself between her ankles as it purred loudly. He seemed to be confirming her decision as a good one.

Dani giggled and slowly bent down to scratch his ears. “You just want the chance to catch a mole for me, don’t you? Well, let’s get to it, Tinker.”  She groaned as she straightened up and took in a deep breath. She wasn’t at all certain even gentle gardening was a good idea so soon after getting home, but what the heck. She was going to hurt whether she sat in a comfy chair all day flipping through magazines, pulled weeds or folding laundry. She may as well have a nicely tended flower bed to show for her trouble.

Her sleep tumbled hair was roughly pulled into a knot at the top of her head after she dressed and outside she and Tinker went. He followed his mistress around the yard as she spoke to him.

“Look at the state of these Irises, Tinker! Why didn’t you tell me they needed thinning?  And the Hostas need dividing, the rhododendrons and forsythia want a pruning and the clematis and honeysuckle have to be trimmed into some neater growing habit on the trellis,” she said as if he was taking notes for her.   

He cared not at all about any of this when he spotted a bright red cardinal at the bird feeder and took off.

“You know the rules, Tinker! No birds,” Dani shouted after him, “Chase the rabbits if you want to get fed today.”  She laughed as he stopped and grumpily looked back at her. Yes, that cat knew the rules. He just needed to be reminded occasionally.

Dani was in high spirits as she turned her face to the warm sun. This is what she needed, home, flowers, sunshine, fresh air, even her crazy cat; not pills, doctors, nurses, all that stifling, sterile stuff.  She donned her garden gloves and gently sat on a cushion next to her perennial bed. She pulled out several dandelions, a nasty thistle and debated pulling out the Queen Anne’s lace nearly ready to bloom. She pulled out some smaller ones and still could smell the carrot scent from the roots. She had always liked it as a child. She remembered Tony teasing her about it.

“That’s a weed. Mom only likes real flowers like these,” Tony had said holding out a bunch of daisies, buttercups and black-eyed Susans.

Dani, only four at the time, pouted. “But I like it,” she whined.

Tony laughed and gave her his flower bunch saying, “Here. If you put them all together she’ll like them fine. She won’t even know it’s a weed.”

Her brother had always been like that, helping her, guiding her, indulging her. She wouldn’t have that anymore. Tears filled her eyes. The Queen Anne’s lace would stay and always have a space in her garden if only to remind her of that one little memory of Tony.

That was how Evan found her, gently caressing the wild flower. He stood quietly by the garden gate watching her. What a pretty picture she made, he thought longingly. Concern made his brow furrow, however, when he saw a tear slip down her cheek.

“Dani, should you really be out here so soon after getting back? You know you have to take it easy,” he said anxiously before he could get the gate opened. “I have to fix this thing. It always sticks.”

“Evan, what are you doing here?” she said, startled. He knelt by her side peering into her face as if to detect pain just by looking. Gosh, but he was cute despite his being worried.

“I was hoping to find you feeling better,” he said as his hand pulled the pin out of her hair allowing her dark curls to tumble around her shoulders. That’s how he liked it.

“Why did you do that? My hair’s all a mess,” she whined just as she had as a child nearly twenty years ago.

He pulled her hands away from her hair and held them fast in his. “Have you taken your meds?” he asked softly.

She pouted and reluctantly said, “No. I don’t like that dizzy feeling.”

He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.  “And pain is better?”

“I feel much better now. I wouldn’t be out here if I wasn’t.”

He smiled indulgently. “Yes, you would. You forget I know you. I know everything about you,” he retorted.

That wasn’t quite right. Dani knew he had no idea she was completely in love with him and had been for as long as she’d known him. But your brother’s best friend isn’t likely to look at you as anything more than a nuisance or at best a kid sister.

“Why are you here, Evan?” she asked again, “Shouldn’t you be at the restaurant?”

“I don’t work till later. Besides, I had a dream this morning and I always take them seriously so here I am, following instructions. I was planning on coming anyway, but the dream just made it seem more important for me to come early and now I know why. It was to stop you from all this madness,” he said waving his hand at the weed bucket, her tools and the garden itself.

“What was the dream about?” she asked curiously. They couldn’t be as wonderful as her own which mostly centered on him professing his undying love for her. No, they were most likely like her nightmares where metal and glass crumbled before her eyes with Tony’s lifeless body in the center of it.

His eyes grew serious and he looked down at her hands. He absently removed her gloves as he spoke. “Tony and I were watching a hockey game. He got up saying he was getting a beer and he told me to go check on you.”

Her heart sank a bit. Just as she suspected. He came to her out of obligation and nothing more.

“You’re too sweet, Evan, but you don’t have to baby me anymore. I’m good,” she said trying to smile and failing miserably. How good could she be with a dead brother?

He stared at her until he wanted to cry. “I miss him, too. He was like a brother to me,” he whispered as he pulled her to him and held on tightly, “We’ll get through it together, okay?” 

He knew she needed someone. Tony had told him as much but if truth be told, he was the one who needed her. Dani was as much a part of his life as Tony had been and with Tony permanently gone she was more or less all he had left.

Dani rested her head on Evan’s shoulder and allowed the tears to flow. Tony might be gone but between the two of them he’d never be forgotten. Perhaps in time they might even speak of him without being so sad. It would just take time, plenty of time. They at least had that.